Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Do-overs

In this week's Getting to Know You at CAC, Paintergirl asks if there is anything in your life you would re-do.

In the fourth grade (or was it third?) my class was having a 'garage sale' and sending the profits to Unicef. Someone brought in a Barbie townhouse- it was like this one with the elevator. I desperately wanted this house. It was only three dollars!

Only one problem. I was afraid to ask my parents for the money. I dreaded the thought that they could say no, so I didn't ask. I remember riding the elevator down to the lobby that morning. I can see my mother's arm as she stood next to me. The question was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't get it out.

My friend Sandy bought it. I was heartbroken. She invited me over to play with it. It was fun, but I was so disappointed.

I think even as a kid I knew that the truly sad part of the story was not that I didn't get the dollhouse, but that I was too scared of asking my mom for it. I was not afraid of being physically harmed, or yelled at. I used to marvel at the things my younger sister felt comfortable asking our parents for.

I still don't like to ask for things. Even silly things, like asking "do you have this in my size" at the store. If I could do it over, I wish I could have been a less fearful child.

3 comments:

Kiandra said...

ooh...i remember that dollhouse, i wanted one badly too.

i think i was like you as a child, i didnt really ask for much, well maybe i did. i don't really know, i'll have to ask my mom on that one.

but you know you have to remember that the squeaky wheel, always gets the oil. try baby steps. ask the heavens and stars for the things you want, and then move on.

i do ask, as i've learned its the only way to let the world know what you need, and what your looking for.

Jana B said...

Awwww... I was like this as a child too. I basically kept to myself, and stayed in the background. Today, most of that has left my personality... I spend MUCH less time in the background, I chat more openly... but I still fear asking for things. Especially for help!

Lorraine Woodward said...

this says so much about inborn temperament, too . . . and I think too many parents aren't aware of these differences in temperament . . .

too tired tonight for more thoughts on this . . . maybe later.