Somehow through these dark moments I've been doing really well on Weight Watchers. Ordinarily I would eat everything in sight in order to bury the bad feelings. Attending meetings, as opposed to do it online, has really been good. I'm applying more of what I've learned, and really feel like I can do this. Yeah!
My sister and my nephew are coming for a visit on Friday. I can't wait to see them, and to see our kids play together! The baby is 18 months old and is going through a vocabulary explosion. Should be fun!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Fixing Leaks
Have you ever felt like you are trying to stop the water from coming through the dam, only there are too many holes for you to keep up with? That's what the last two months or so have felt like for me. I can't keep up with all of these holes. As soon as one hole seems repaired I spring a leak somewhere else. It's been hard to keep my head above water.
In the past few weeks I've had to force myself out of bed, force myself to interact with my husband, my children, to make good on my responsibilities. I had to pretend everything was ok for my son's birthday party and my mom's visit, for my volunteering stint at the kids' camp.
I drove past a sign at the entrance to a senior's trailer park that said Wake Up--Survive--Go to Bed. That's pretty much what I was doing, and instead of laughing, as those who hung the letters intended, I cried. I was overwhelmed by everything. Irritable. Wondering how to get out of this place in my mind.
I've often wondered, why does life seem so much harder for me than for other people? Why can't I just be happy? And then quickly shushed myself, telling myself that I have a wonderful life which should make me very happy, and that there are so many others who live much harder lives.
My therapist tells me that I've had Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was a kid, and that while I have felt the affects of this that I've coped really well throughout my life. I feel relieved to hear this. Yes, there is something wrong with me. I'm not imagining the difficulties I perceive. The stomach aches are real. The jittery and wiped out feelings after being in certain situations are real.
I've worked harder to find the ways to explain what I've been going through to my husband. I'm not just a bitchy person. When I freak out, it is my trying to deal with the overload in my head. When I do nothing, it is not because I'm lazy, but because I'm paralyzed and can't see a way out. I had to tell him things I was embarrassed about, like considering how to end the pain when medicine and therapy don't seem like enough.
Yesterday I started feeling more like myself. Still overwhelmed, still anxious. But I got some things done. I felt spring in my step instead of dread. I'm paralyzed today, looking around my home, it seems doubtful that any cleaning I do can make any sort of difference. I'm still hopeful though, and I know that somehow, I can get through this.
In the past few weeks I've had to force myself out of bed, force myself to interact with my husband, my children, to make good on my responsibilities. I had to pretend everything was ok for my son's birthday party and my mom's visit, for my volunteering stint at the kids' camp.
I drove past a sign at the entrance to a senior's trailer park that said Wake Up--Survive--Go to Bed. That's pretty much what I was doing, and instead of laughing, as those who hung the letters intended, I cried. I was overwhelmed by everything. Irritable. Wondering how to get out of this place in my mind.
I've often wondered, why does life seem so much harder for me than for other people? Why can't I just be happy? And then quickly shushed myself, telling myself that I have a wonderful life which should make me very happy, and that there are so many others who live much harder lives.
My therapist tells me that I've had Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was a kid, and that while I have felt the affects of this that I've coped really well throughout my life. I feel relieved to hear this. Yes, there is something wrong with me. I'm not imagining the difficulties I perceive. The stomach aches are real. The jittery and wiped out feelings after being in certain situations are real.
I've worked harder to find the ways to explain what I've been going through to my husband. I'm not just a bitchy person. When I freak out, it is my trying to deal with the overload in my head. When I do nothing, it is not because I'm lazy, but because I'm paralyzed and can't see a way out. I had to tell him things I was embarrassed about, like considering how to end the pain when medicine and therapy don't seem like enough.
Yesterday I started feeling more like myself. Still overwhelmed, still anxious. But I got some things done. I felt spring in my step instead of dread. I'm paralyzed today, looking around my home, it seems doubtful that any cleaning I do can make any sort of difference. I'm still hopeful though, and I know that somehow, I can get through this.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Goodbyes
I've never been good at goodbye. At the end of our annual visit to my grandparents in San Diego I would be in tears as we said goodbye before leaving for the airport. My parents would want one more picture, and I would inevitably be in tears.
Tonight we called my husband's sister and her family. Tomorrow they are moving from a town 2.5 hours away from us to Hawaii. When we saw them a few weeks ago I was very standoffish. I couldn't bear being close to them that weekend, knowing I'd have to say goodbye soon. Tonight I apologized for acting like a jerk when we had time together, and of course burst into tears. She's not just my sister-in-law, she's my friend. We can talk about pretty much anything. She may not have lived in my town for the past few years, but she is pretty much my closest friend geographically.
It's true what they say about anger--there is usually another emotion behind it. I thought I was angry at them, but truly, I'm just oh-so-sad.
Tonight we called my husband's sister and her family. Tomorrow they are moving from a town 2.5 hours away from us to Hawaii. When we saw them a few weeks ago I was very standoffish. I couldn't bear being close to them that weekend, knowing I'd have to say goodbye soon. Tonight I apologized for acting like a jerk when we had time together, and of course burst into tears. She's not just my sister-in-law, she's my friend. We can talk about pretty much anything. She may not have lived in my town for the past few years, but she is pretty much my closest friend geographically.
It's true what they say about anger--there is usually another emotion behind it. I thought I was angry at them, but truly, I'm just oh-so-sad.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Friendship Part II
When I wrote about Friendship the other day, I meant to talk about a theory of mine. I think that the internet is full of other folks who have a hard time making or keeping friends, with introverted people who want connection with other, but who need lots of time alone.
I met many women with new babies in the summer of 1999 online, when my son was born. Several of them have become my closest friends. We've met in RL, our families know and love each other too. We've been through subsequent pregnancies, and all kinds of ups and downs together. I'm so grateful I have them. But I still really yearn for someone who lives nearby, in the same county if not in the same town.
I took a step this week. I volunteered at my kids' camp for the past two weeks. The teacher I was helping was really fun to hang out with. I gave her my number and email address. I'm hoping we can get together and develop a friendship. I really hope to hear from her, but if not at least I've learned that it isn't so scary to try.
I met many women with new babies in the summer of 1999 online, when my son was born. Several of them have become my closest friends. We've met in RL, our families know and love each other too. We've been through subsequent pregnancies, and all kinds of ups and downs together. I'm so grateful I have them. But I still really yearn for someone who lives nearby, in the same county if not in the same town.
I took a step this week. I volunteered at my kids' camp for the past two weeks. The teacher I was helping was really fun to hang out with. I gave her my number and email address. I'm hoping we can get together and develop a friendship. I really hope to hear from her, but if not at least I've learned that it isn't so scary to try.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Blogging to Know You
This week's Getting to Know You is about blogging!
When did you begin your first blog and what inspired you to do so?
I started this blog in November, after reading Fussy's idea for NaBloPoMo. I enjoy writing but didn't often take the time to do personal writing.
Do you have more than one blog? Why? How are they different?
Nope, just the one : )
How would you characterize your blog?
Creative
Political
Informational
Community-oriented
Or something else?
Hmm, a little bit crafty, a little bit mama-blog, a little bit mental health.
To paraphrase Oprah, what is "one thing you know for sure" about blogging?
I know that I've 'met' some pretty cool people blogging!
Is it important to you to get feedback in terms of comments or pings? Why or why not?
I love getting comments, I won't lie. It is nice to feel that someone out there is listening. Even without comments blogging is so valuable. It is something I make time for, for myself. It gives me a chance to write things I'm thinking about, when I might not pull out pen and paper to do so.
What 3 blogs would you recommend to our readers and why?
Hmm, three. This is going to be tough!
One of my favorite's is Krista's blog, The Silent K. She moves and inspires me with every post.
The Living Classroom is the journal of an amazing K-1 teacher. It is wonderful to read about her school and her students.
Shiso Mama is the blog of a wonderful, creative mama. She creates beautiful collages. Check it out! She shares photos and stories of her adorable and fashionable son, Otis.
When did you begin your first blog and what inspired you to do so?
I started this blog in November, after reading Fussy's idea for NaBloPoMo. I enjoy writing but didn't often take the time to do personal writing.
Do you have more than one blog? Why? How are they different?
Nope, just the one : )
How would you characterize your blog?
Creative
Political
Informational
Community-oriented
Or something else?
Hmm, a little bit crafty, a little bit mama-blog, a little bit mental health.
To paraphrase Oprah, what is "one thing you know for sure" about blogging?
I know that I've 'met' some pretty cool people blogging!
Is it important to you to get feedback in terms of comments or pings? Why or why not?
I love getting comments, I won't lie. It is nice to feel that someone out there is listening. Even without comments blogging is so valuable. It is something I make time for, for myself. It gives me a chance to write things I'm thinking about, when I might not pull out pen and paper to do so.
What 3 blogs would you recommend to our readers and why?
Hmm, three. This is going to be tough!
One of my favorite's is Krista's blog, The Silent K. She moves and inspires me with every post.
The Living Classroom is the journal of an amazing K-1 teacher. It is wonderful to read about her school and her students.
Shiso Mama is the blog of a wonderful, creative mama. She creates beautiful collages. Check it out! She shares photos and stories of her adorable and fashionable son, Otis.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Friendship
When I was a kid, my mother was always reassuring me that the day would come when making friends would be easier for me. Don't worry, she'd say, there are more kids in High School. Then, oh, in college you'll meet people you have more in common with. When you're a parent you'll meet lots of people in your new town.
Caroline at Potato Prints wrote about friendship today. Her drawing really resonates with me. Looking from the outside in, wanting to be a part of that closeness, or fun, and yet being too scared to step forward. It is so lonely.
When commenting to Caroline I realize: I've lived here for eight years. I don't think 'I'm new in town' is my problem anymore. My son is entering third grade and my daughter will attend kindergarten at the same school next year. I know friends won't just jump out and attach themselves to me. I do feel like I'm different than most people here. I grew up in a big city, most folks grew up in this small town. I encounter many folks who've learned racist attitudes from their parents. I cannot get close to someone who believes that type of thing. Where is my bosom buddy?
My daughter is very extroverted. I've had to stretch my boundaries for her. I need to do it more. It is hard for me to arrange play dates for my kids, and yet, how will they learn about friendship if I don't make it possible for them? Yes, they play with kids at school and camp, but we don't often have a child over to play.
Somehow I need to push myself out of this friendless zone, for myself.
Caroline at Potato Prints wrote about friendship today. Her drawing really resonates with me. Looking from the outside in, wanting to be a part of that closeness, or fun, and yet being too scared to step forward. It is so lonely.
When commenting to Caroline I realize: I've lived here for eight years. I don't think 'I'm new in town' is my problem anymore. My son is entering third grade and my daughter will attend kindergarten at the same school next year. I know friends won't just jump out and attach themselves to me. I do feel like I'm different than most people here. I grew up in a big city, most folks grew up in this small town. I encounter many folks who've learned racist attitudes from their parents. I cannot get close to someone who believes that type of thing. Where is my bosom buddy?
My daughter is very extroverted. I've had to stretch my boundaries for her. I need to do it more. It is hard for me to arrange play dates for my kids, and yet, how will they learn about friendship if I don't make it possible for them? Yes, they play with kids at school and camp, but we don't often have a child over to play.
Somehow I need to push myself out of this friendless zone, for myself.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Color Me Happy Swaparooni
Looking for a fun swap? Consider joining OMSH's Color Me Happy Swaparooni. Colors for June are Orange and Yellow.
Check out the Flickr Group for info on joining.
I got some great stuff from Frugalmom
for the Pink and Green swap in May:
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Today, Tomorrow, and Yesterday
Charlotte is the June host for CAC's Getting to Know You Day. Here is her fun prompt for today:
In 1987 I was a junior in high school. I'd never had a boyfriend. My high school was huge, about 4000 kids, but I was in a small program within the school and took classes with the same 20 or so kids. By junior year we were like a big family. Our homeroom teacher was the best, he really took care of us. Being, um, nerdy we sometimes wanted to be marked absent from school so we could skip some of our classes to go home and study. So Mr. Larsen would mark us absent, we'd go to the class the exam was going to be in, and then go home to study. Being absent was less problematic than skipping. High School was more fun than Middle School, but looking back I still think of feeling nervous all the time.
Although I've always enjoyed creating things I was not involved in any crafty activities at the time.
Where were you in 1997? What would you like to share about the nineties?
In 1997 I was living in the greater Orlando area with my husband. We were just starting to think about trying to have a baby. I was still becoming adjusted to life in Florida :) Since we'd moved to Florida I'd been working in retail. By November of '97 I'd had enough, and when my dad offered me a job I took it. This November I'll have worked for him for ten years!
I think the 90's were about transition for me. I stopped being a student upon graduation from NYU. I moved to a new state for the first time in my life. I got married and we bought a home.
Where did you plan to be or think you'd be in 2007? Have your realized your goals? What is one thing about your present life you love and one you'd like to change?
I don't think I had any plans for 2007 : ) I've been going along with the flow for quite a while now (even when going with the flow has simply meant dealing with life as it is, anxiety and all). We have two wonderful (most of the time!) children. I'm working towards some goals now. I'm still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up : )
One thing I want to change is my work. Working for my dad has been great on many levels- my babies came to work with me. I can go to the store on my way to work. I can leave early for a doctor's appointment. But my father's work is his dream, not mine. It is awkward for me at times- he's so happy to have me at work, to know that he can count on me. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of enthusiasm for the work I'm doing. And that makes it very hard for me to get things done.
How do you see your life in 2017? Do you have any goals or dreams for your future?
I want to continue to learn and do new creative and crafty things. I hope to explore many things with my children and my husband- new countries, new adventures, plenty of travel. I hope that by 2017 I'll either be in school learning a new career or already working at one : ). Aaaack! I think in 2017 my oldest will be applying to college. Eeek. Can't think about that--he's turning 8 tomorrow!
The Things Kids Say
The scene: in the car on the last day of school, two weeks ago
Son: (excitedly) Mom, I'm going to third grade! My report card says I'm promoted!
Mom: (smiling bemusedly) That's awesome!
Son: (excitedly) Mom, I'm going to third grade! My report card says I'm promoted!
Mom: (smiling bemusedly) That's awesome!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Photo Thursday
mayafirehose
Originally uploaded by nyjlm.
Ninotchka's theme for this week was water. I was thinking I didn't have anything very recent to share, but then I remembered
On the next to last day of school, the preschoolers got to go to the firehouse, which is across the street from the elementary school. One of the teachers at the school is a member of our volunteer fire dept, so they got to check all sorts of things out, including one of the smaller hoses :)
I took a bunch of shots of Maya and her friends using the hose, but I liked this one best because of the smile on her face.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
The Infamous Proust Questionnaire
Whoa, Nellie! Paintergirl has come up with some toughies for her last Getting to Know You
* Your most marked characteristic? intensity
* The quality you most like in a man? tenderness
* The quality you most like in a woman? determination
* What do you most value in your friends? sensitivity, empathy
* What is your principle defect? stubbornness, also very sensitive, anxious
* What is your favorite occupation? I'll let you know if I figure it out
* What is your dream of happiness? Living a life free from anxiety and depression
* What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? Losing my family
* What would you like to be? I'd like to work in maternal/child health, be a baker, an art teacher for young kids (although I guess I'd rather call it 'facilitator of creativity' lol).
* In what country would you like to live? Italy
* What is your favorite color? green
* What is your favorite flower? Cosmos
* What is your favorite bird? I love all of the herons and egrets. As a kid my favorite was the Peregrine Falcon.
* Who are your favorite prose writers? Jane Austen and Thomas Hardy
* Who are your favorite poets? Cavafy, Elytis, Virgil, Ovid,
* Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Aeneas
* Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Jane Eyre, Tess (of the D'Urbervilles)
* Who are your favorite composers? I like lots of stuff but don't necessarily know the composer's name : ) Aaron Copeland just popped into my mind.
* Who are your favorite painters? Picasso, Matisse
* Who are your heroes in real life? People who stand up for what is right, even though that is not the easy thing to do.
* Who are your favorite heroines of history? mothers who advocate for their children in trying times.
* What are your favorite names? I love the name Esther.
* What is it you most dislike? I have a very hard time when I feel I'm misunderstood.
* What historical figures do you most despise? Hitler
* What event in military history do you most admire? Storming the beach at Normandy
* What reform do you most admire? Civil Rights. Sadly, I don't think it is a completed reform.
* What natural gift would you most like to possess? Inner peace
* How would you like to die? peacefully and painlessly
* What is your present state of mind? overwhelmed, sad
* To what faults do you feel most indulgent? slothfullness
* What is your motto? don't have one!
* Your most marked characteristic? intensity
* The quality you most like in a man? tenderness
* The quality you most like in a woman? determination
* What do you most value in your friends? sensitivity, empathy
* What is your principle defect? stubbornness, also very sensitive, anxious
* What is your favorite occupation? I'll let you know if I figure it out
* What is your dream of happiness? Living a life free from anxiety and depression
* What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes? Losing my family
* What would you like to be? I'd like to work in maternal/child health, be a baker, an art teacher for young kids (although I guess I'd rather call it 'facilitator of creativity' lol).
* In what country would you like to live? Italy
* What is your favorite color? green
* What is your favorite flower? Cosmos
* What is your favorite bird? I love all of the herons and egrets. As a kid my favorite was the Peregrine Falcon.
* Who are your favorite prose writers? Jane Austen and Thomas Hardy
* Who are your favorite poets? Cavafy, Elytis, Virgil, Ovid,
* Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Aeneas
* Who are your favorite heroines of fiction? Jane Eyre, Tess (of the D'Urbervilles)
* Who are your favorite composers? I like lots of stuff but don't necessarily know the composer's name : ) Aaron Copeland just popped into my mind.
* Who are your favorite painters? Picasso, Matisse
* Who are your heroes in real life? People who stand up for what is right, even though that is not the easy thing to do.
* Who are your favorite heroines of history? mothers who advocate for their children in trying times.
* What are your favorite names? I love the name Esther.
* What is it you most dislike? I have a very hard time when I feel I'm misunderstood.
* What historical figures do you most despise? Hitler
* What event in military history do you most admire? Storming the beach at Normandy
* What reform do you most admire? Civil Rights. Sadly, I don't think it is a completed reform.
* What natural gift would you most like to possess? Inner peace
* How would you like to die? peacefully and painlessly
* What is your present state of mind? overwhelmed, sad
* To what faults do you feel most indulgent? slothfullness
* What is your motto? don't have one!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
How to Cure a Tantrum
Make cookies!
Mini Black and White Cookies, Weight Watchers style
- 2 sprays cooking spray
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
- 2/3 cup sugar, granulated
- 2 large egg(s)
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 tsp lemon zest
- 2 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp table salt
- 2/3 cup fat-free skim milk
- 3 large egg white(s)
- 2 cup powdered sugar, divided
- 1/4 cup water, boiling, or more if necessary, divided
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa
- Preheat oven to 375°F. Coat 2 cookie sheets with cooking spray or cover with parchment paper. (I used a silpat instead)
- Beat butter and granulated sugar in a large bowl, using an electric mixer, until light and fluffy. Add whole eggs, one at a time, and incorporate with mixer; blend in 1 teaspoon of vanilla and lemon zest.
- Mix together flour, baking powder and salt in a separate medium bowl.
- Add half of flour mixture to butter mixture; add milk and beat well. Add remaining flour mixture and beat well.
- Whip egg whites in a medium bowl, with a wire whisk, until soft peaks form; gently fold egg whites into cookie batter.
- Drop batter by heaping teaspoons onto cookie sheets; batter should remain in high mounds. Make sure to leave at least 2-inches of space between each mound of batter.
- Bake cookies until edges turn slightly brown, about 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool on cookie sheets for 1 to 2 minutes; move to wire racks and allow to cool completely.
- Meanwhile, to make vanilla icing, combine 1 cup of powdered sugar, 2 tablespoons of boiling water and remaining 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla in a medium bowl; beat until smooth. Using a pastry brush or flexible spatula, paint half of each cooled cookie with vanilla icing. (NOTE: Make sure to ice the flat side of each cookie. You should always use the vanilla icing first)
- To make chocolate icing, combine remaining cup of powdered sugar, cocoa and 2 tablespoons of boiling water in a medium bowl; beat until smooth. Add a little more water, a teaspoon at a time, if icing is too dry. Using the same brush or spatula, paint the second half of the flat side of each cookie. Allow icing to dry completely before serving. Yields 2 cookies per serving.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Do-overs
In this week's Getting to Know You at CAC, Paintergirl asks if there is anything in your life you would re-do.
In the fourth grade (or was it third?) my class was having a 'garage sale' and sending the profits to Unicef. Someone brought in a Barbie townhouse- it was like this one with the elevator. I desperately wanted this house. It was only three dollars!
Only one problem. I was afraid to ask my parents for the money. I dreaded the thought that they could say no, so I didn't ask. I remember riding the elevator down to the lobby that morning. I can see my mother's arm as she stood next to me. The question was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't get it out.
My friend Sandy bought it. I was heartbroken. She invited me over to play with it. It was fun, but I was so disappointed.
I think even as a kid I knew that the truly sad part of the story was not that I didn't get the dollhouse, but that I was too scared of asking my mom for it. I was not afraid of being physically harmed, or yelled at. I used to marvel at the things my younger sister felt comfortable asking our parents for.
I still don't like to ask for things. Even silly things, like asking "do you have this in my size" at the store. If I could do it over, I wish I could have been a less fearful child.
In the fourth grade (or was it third?) my class was having a 'garage sale' and sending the profits to Unicef. Someone brought in a Barbie townhouse- it was like this one with the elevator. I desperately wanted this house. It was only three dollars!
Only one problem. I was afraid to ask my parents for the money. I dreaded the thought that they could say no, so I didn't ask. I remember riding the elevator down to the lobby that morning. I can see my mother's arm as she stood next to me. The question was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't get it out.
My friend Sandy bought it. I was heartbroken. She invited me over to play with it. It was fun, but I was so disappointed.
I think even as a kid I knew that the truly sad part of the story was not that I didn't get the dollhouse, but that I was too scared of asking my mom for it. I was not afraid of being physically harmed, or yelled at. I used to marvel at the things my younger sister felt comfortable asking our parents for.
I still don't like to ask for things. Even silly things, like asking "do you have this in my size" at the store. If I could do it over, I wish I could have been a less fearful child.
Monday, May 14, 2007
All I wanted for Mother's Day...
was to be able to have my sewing machine out all weekend! I sewed up a storm.
First up was this bag from Tiny Happy
I used a piece of silk my sister brought me from Uzbekistan. I thought that it would be too floppy even with a lining, so I used Peltex to give it some body. Something a little flimsier might have been better, but I really like how it came out. I think I will add some sort of closure to it, a toggle of some sort I guess.
Next up, two totes for the kids to use to transport library books to and fro.
I got to use some of my fabrics from Superbuzzy. The pattern for the bags is from Lotta Jansdotter's Simple Sewing.
Also from Lotta's book is this tool roll, which now holds my crochet hooks
I winged the case on the right, which is for sewing needles.
And right before my family served me a wonderful dinner, I started this guy
From Joy's Waldorf Dolls 8" Pocket Love Doll, for our new nephew. I made a doll from this pattern for my son when he was about 1.5 years old. I sewed that one by hand, and now that I think of it, it was the first thing I ever sewed. I'm happy to say that it is still intact, and he is still a guest in my son's bed from time to time!
It was a wonderful day, and it was so much fun to sew all of this stuff!
First up was this bag from Tiny Happy
I used a piece of silk my sister brought me from Uzbekistan. I thought that it would be too floppy even with a lining, so I used Peltex to give it some body. Something a little flimsier might have been better, but I really like how it came out. I think I will add some sort of closure to it, a toggle of some sort I guess.
Next up, two totes for the kids to use to transport library books to and fro.
I got to use some of my fabrics from Superbuzzy. The pattern for the bags is from Lotta Jansdotter's Simple Sewing.
Also from Lotta's book is this tool roll, which now holds my crochet hooks
I winged the case on the right, which is for sewing needles.
And right before my family served me a wonderful dinner, I started this guy
From Joy's Waldorf Dolls 8" Pocket Love Doll, for our new nephew. I made a doll from this pattern for my son when he was about 1.5 years old. I sewed that one by hand, and now that I think of it, it was the first thing I ever sewed. I'm happy to say that it is still intact, and he is still a guest in my son's bed from time to time!
It was a wonderful day, and it was so much fun to sew all of this stuff!
Seeds of inspiration
About a month ago, Susan at West Coast Crafty posted about a book that inspired her in childhood. I too had a set of Childcraft's How and Why Library, and like Susan, the Make and Do volume stole my heart. After Susan posted about it I looked on ebay for a copy, but abstained from purchasing because I couldn't find the Make and Do volume for sale on it's own in the edition that I had as a child. I didn't buy one in April, but knew I'd keep looking.
On Friday I had a few minutes before I needed to pick up the children from school. I went to the local Salvation Army thrift shop. I'm always envious of folks who seem to find the most amazing things when they go thrifting. I've never been so lucky, until last week. I slowly made my way around the store. When I got to the book corner I looked down into a box...which held the Childcraft How and Why Library! It wasn't the edition I had as a kid, but I didn't care. I eagerly snatched up the Make and Do volume. Reader, I paid 50 cents for it! I took it home and looked through it- despite being about ten years younger than the one I had as a kid it is exactly the same.
My heart stopped a second when I got to this page
I stared at this photo for hours as a kid. My mother was not crafty--oh how I yearned to sew this outfit for my dolls! When I told my mother and sister about my book find and my reaction to this page, they both said the same thing "now you can!" And I will ; )
When I was a little girl I always had my nose in a book. Make and Do was one I looked at for hours on end. Another was Betty Crocker's New Boys and Girls Cook Book. Just this afternoon I was reflecting on the impact that these two books had on my childhood and my life. I love cooking, baking, and crafting. And I love doing those things with my children. These two late 1960s books were hand-me-downs from my dad's cousin. I wonder if I would be a different person if these books were not given to me? Who knows. Right now I'm just enjoying my books, and loving sharing these books with my kids.
On Friday I had a few minutes before I needed to pick up the children from school. I went to the local Salvation Army thrift shop. I'm always envious of folks who seem to find the most amazing things when they go thrifting. I've never been so lucky, until last week. I slowly made my way around the store. When I got to the book corner I looked down into a box...which held the Childcraft How and Why Library! It wasn't the edition I had as a kid, but I didn't care. I eagerly snatched up the Make and Do volume. Reader, I paid 50 cents for it! I took it home and looked through it- despite being about ten years younger than the one I had as a kid it is exactly the same.
My heart stopped a second when I got to this page
I stared at this photo for hours as a kid. My mother was not crafty--oh how I yearned to sew this outfit for my dolls! When I told my mother and sister about my book find and my reaction to this page, they both said the same thing "now you can!" And I will ; )
When I was a little girl I always had my nose in a book. Make and Do was one I looked at for hours on end. Another was Betty Crocker's New Boys and Girls Cook Book. Just this afternoon I was reflecting on the impact that these two books had on my childhood and my life. I love cooking, baking, and crafting. And I love doing those things with my children. These two late 1960s books were hand-me-downs from my dad's cousin. I wonder if I would be a different person if these books were not given to me? Who knows. Right now I'm just enjoying my books, and loving sharing these books with my kids.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
CAC Writing Prompts
Kiandra inspired me to go ahead and tackle these prompts. I've been missing CAC due to busy-ness and I do want to get back on the saddle : )
1. If you could have any magical power for only one hour, what would it be and why? The ability to clean cluttered homes in a single bound. Well, one cluttered home anyhow.
2. You've won a pair of round-trip airline tickets to anywhere in the world. Where would you go, with whom, and why? Italy, with my husband and kids. It is my dream place to visit. I've been twice with my husband, and once before that. We are talking about when we'll be able to take the kids for the first time.
3. You are stranded in a library or bookstore for 24 hours. In what section do you spend the most time? Why? I have so many interests I can't really say that I gravitate to one section over another. I do need many hours to slowly walk through the whole store or library! Cookbooks, books on parenting, children's books, magazines, travel books, you name it and I want to read it :)
4. If you were to be on a reality TV show, which one would it be? Why would you be a good fit for that particular show? Hmm. I don't know if this is really what you're thinking of, but it would have to be one of those organizational shows. We really need that.
5. What did you most recently dream or daydream about? I've been dreaming of yarn! I'm trying to choose the yarn for my babette blanket and the possibilities are all so yummy! I'm also dreaming out lout with my husband about an actual family trip to Italy in two years. We'll see!
Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back
up and down up and down. My mooods have always been that way. I think I have a little less swing as I've gotten older and learned more about myself, but sometimes I just can't help it.
This week is one of those weeks. So many things to feel up about, but yesterday has pretty much negated the up feeling. I had a terrible time with my son yesterday afternoon. It is hard to even contemplate. I did apologize for my inappropriate actions; he did too, and I am hoping he understands a little better what we ask of him. I do think there is something deeper going on with him, which is a reminder that I need to be present for him in the afternoon, instead of getting caught up in my own things.
I also had a terrible fight with my husband. I regretted a lot of what I said. I apologized when I realized the damage I had done. I was also able to apologize this morning for the whole thing. I'm not much of a kidder. I tend not to like silly jokes, and I've been called "too serious" often. He'd made a comment that just set me off after a bad day. After a night's sleep I was able to acknowledge that it was a harmless comment and that I didn't need to let my emotions run away with themselves like that. That is a step in the right direction, as I'm usually unable to recognize that what I've done maybe wasn't necessary. And if I do recognize it, I have a damn hard time admitting it!
I haven't been doing my grateful journal every night for the past few nights. And for a lifelong pessimist I have definitely found keeping track of what I'm grateful for useful. I will make sure to do it tonight.
When I go home this afternoon (soon!), I will be present with the kids. I will not try to get other things done (well, I might crochet in their presence, but that's ok, right?). I want to be fun mommy, not raging, raving lunatic mommy.
Ok, so three steps forward, two steps back, and maybe another one forward.
This week is one of those weeks. So many things to feel up about, but yesterday has pretty much negated the up feeling. I had a terrible time with my son yesterday afternoon. It is hard to even contemplate. I did apologize for my inappropriate actions; he did too, and I am hoping he understands a little better what we ask of him. I do think there is something deeper going on with him, which is a reminder that I need to be present for him in the afternoon, instead of getting caught up in my own things.
I also had a terrible fight with my husband. I regretted a lot of what I said. I apologized when I realized the damage I had done. I was also able to apologize this morning for the whole thing. I'm not much of a kidder. I tend not to like silly jokes, and I've been called "too serious" often. He'd made a comment that just set me off after a bad day. After a night's sleep I was able to acknowledge that it was a harmless comment and that I didn't need to let my emotions run away with themselves like that. That is a step in the right direction, as I'm usually unable to recognize that what I've done maybe wasn't necessary. And if I do recognize it, I have a damn hard time admitting it!
I haven't been doing my grateful journal every night for the past few nights. And for a lifelong pessimist I have definitely found keeping track of what I'm grateful for useful. I will make sure to do it tonight.
When I go home this afternoon (soon!), I will be present with the kids. I will not try to get other things done (well, I might crochet in their presence, but that's ok, right?). I want to be fun mommy, not raging, raving lunatic mommy.
Ok, so three steps forward, two steps back, and maybe another one forward.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
